Skip to main content

The Community is Protesting on Getting Laser Pointers for your Cat.

  This is Tom Jefferson, (no relation) reporting on the brand new news story, The Community is Protesting on Getting Laser Pointers for your Cat.





So, why is everyone so upset with laser pointers?

"It's obvious!" One man sheiks after we ask him this question. "They trick the cats into thinking there is something, and then there's nothing they can get at! it's much more humane to give them real toys, like live rats."

Hmm. interesting, let's see what cats have to say.


This cat doesn't seem to care. She just wants food.

"It's even crueler to put different designs on the tip!" a woman growls. "They think they're getting a mouse, when it's just a shaft of light! How inhumane!"

"My cat seems to enjoy her laser pointer." I told the lady.

"She thinks she does." the woman hisses. "But she is being deceived! By her own owner! You are cruel and viscous to your cat! I'm calling the animal rescue shelter!"

And that's why I have to stop writing right now because I see the animal rescue team at my front step, excuse me a moment.


Phew! It took a while but I finally convinced the team I was taking good care of my cat, and they let me keep her.  

Now I must go, I have to feed my cat, and then I think I'll play with her with the laser pointer for a while.



-Tom Jefferson.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Fish are Roasted Toasted

  This is Don Johnson, I reported on the Fish Protest in Anger, Claiming They can be in the Police Force Too story, well the  chief  was having a debate with the fish, and the fish just got roasted!  So, we all know the fish want in on the police force action, if you missed that article, please see this  Fish Protest in Anger, Claiming They can be in The Police Force Too (starnewsrealfakenews.blogspot.com) So, yes, the fish were having a debate with the chief, and they let me in to report on it, here's what happened: Jerry, the goldfish says. "We demand to be let in, we will work as hard as any dog!" The chief looks at him skeptically. "You are a bit on the small side, and how are you gonna chase after the criminals?" Jerry snorts. "We'll swim of course!" The chief raises his eyebrows. "Mmm, yes. One problem." Jerry glared at the chief. "What?" he snaps. The chief starts to chuckle. "Most of the criminals with be on land!...
Post a Comment
Read more

Half of community wants a Steak-Filet

  Hey guys, this is Tiffany Robert (The first to write about   The Jellybean Story . (Not to brag.)) writing on the story:   Half the Community Wants a Steak-Filet. Some people don't like the thought of just eating chicken all day long at Chick-Filet, they want a Steak-Filet. "I'm vegan to any animal that clucks!" claims Rodney a 97-year-old. "if it clucks, quacks or cok-a-doodle-doos I'm vegan to it. But if it moos it's OK." "I like the chewy better then the crunchy," says 24-year-old David,"whenever I make chicken by myself it is black and crunchy, when the restaurant makes steak it's chewy." he claims. We asked some chickens what they thought they'd make, we heard a lot of "bucks". We all think that a Steak-Filet is a great idea! Soon lots of people will be eating at a Steak-Filet. Too bad all the vegans have to stay out of this. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Cub Foods Puts a Real Bear in the Store

  This is Wendy Thomas, here with the hot new topic, Cub Foods Puts a Real Bear in the Store. Who hasn't wondered why Cub Foods is called "cub", and it turned out many were writing in asking. Cub must have gotten tired of it, because now they have a bear in their store! This morning a was headed in to buy some groceries, but when I got to the honey section, I decided my kids could settle for PB&J instead of peanut butter and honey. There was a GIANT bear on the shelf! Just helping itself! And there were no police trying to catch him for robbery! I went to report it, but the worker I found, (Mandy) seemed unconcerned. "Oh, yes." She replied casually. "That Gordan, he's our mascot. So many people were writing in asking why we were called Cub, we decided on the bear and told them to come to Cub Foods this Thursday to find out." Mandy explained that they were going to get a cage for the bear, but the bear itself cost so much, they had to wait a few...
Post a Comment
Read more