Skip to main content

Amazon is Starting, "Next Second Shipping"

 

 Hello, this is Rachell Harper, reporting on the most talked about and exciting story of the year so far, Amazon is Starting, "Next Second Shipping".




We all know Amazon has free two day shipping, well, yesterday, someone on the Amazon team suggested, next day shipping, and that led to next second shipping.

How it works is, you buy something, hit confirm order, and then in one second, you'll hear a knock or a ding dong! and your package will be there.

How will Amazon do it so fast and keep up with all the orders?  Let's talk to a worker now and see if they'll tell us their secret.

Hey, this worker over here looks incompetent, let's ask them.

"My name is Bob." The worker says in a southernly accent. "And sure! Of course, I can tell ya. We're gonna track our shoppers! We see what they are ordering, and as soon as they click the, "order" button, we rush to start the delivery process, we sent out what they ordered to the nearest Amazon factory to them, Oh yes, we know where they live too, and then an Amazon working in that factory, quickly packages up their order, and drives it there them self to the delivery spot and quickly drops it off. We also added a whole buncha paperwork to the ordering process, because it delays them from clicking the confirm order button. We also send the deliverer a tracker for that person, so they don't do it too soon. it would be real suspicious if they hadn't clicked the confirm order and their package comes!"  

"Bob!" another worker scolds as she walks up. "You aren't supposed to be handing out secrets to the public!"

"Well, Marie, I thought out only secret was the one about when they put in a credit card number with no money on it, we put a rattlesnake in the box instead of their-" Bob was quickly muffled by Marie clapping her hand over her mouth. 

Well, I think we learned some important lessons here today.

1. Being incompetent shows on the face. 
2. Amazon is going desperate for employees.
3. Amazon is adding more stores around the USA.

And most importantly, make sure you have enough money on the credit card number you're putting in when you buy something from Amazon.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Fish are Roasted Toasted

  This is Don Johnson, I reported on the Fish Protest in Anger, Claiming They can be in the Police Force Too story, well the  chief  was having a debate with the fish, and the fish just got roasted!  So, we all know the fish want in on the police force action, if you missed that article, please see this  Fish Protest in Anger, Claiming They can be in The Police Force Too (starnewsrealfakenews.blogspot.com) So, yes, the fish were having a debate with the chief, and they let me in to report on it, here's what happened: Jerry, the goldfish says. "We demand to be let in, we will work as hard as any dog!" The chief looks at him skeptically. "You are a bit on the small side, and how are you gonna chase after the criminals?" Jerry snorts. "We'll swim of course!" The chief raises his eyebrows. "Mmm, yes. One problem." Jerry glared at the chief. "What?" he snaps. The chief starts to chuckle. "Most of the criminals with be on land!...

Half of community wants a Steak-Filet

  Hey guys, this is Tiffany Robert (The first to write about   The Jellybean Story . (Not to brag.)) writing on the story:   Half the Community Wants a Steak-Filet. Some people don't like the thought of just eating chicken all day long at Chick-Filet, they want a Steak-Filet. "I'm vegan to any animal that clucks!" claims Rodney a 97-year-old. "if it clucks, quacks or cok-a-doodle-doos I'm vegan to it. But if it moos it's OK." "I like the chewy better then the crunchy," says 24-year-old David,"whenever I make chicken by myself it is black and crunchy, when the restaurant makes steak it's chewy." he claims. We asked some chickens what they thought they'd make, we heard a lot of "bucks". We all think that a Steak-Filet is a great idea! Soon lots of people will be eating at a Steak-Filet. Too bad all the vegans have to stay out of this. 

Cub Foods Puts a Real Bear in the Store

  This is Wendy Thomas, here with the hot new topic, Cub Foods Puts a Real Bear in the Store. Who hasn't wondered why Cub Foods is called "cub", and it turned out many were writing in asking. Cub must have gotten tired of it, because now they have a bear in their store! This morning a was headed in to buy some groceries, but when I got to the honey section, I decided my kids could settle for PB&J instead of peanut butter and honey. There was a GIANT bear on the shelf! Just helping itself! And there were no police trying to catch him for robbery! I went to report it, but the worker I found, (Mandy) seemed unconcerned. "Oh, yes." She replied casually. "That Gordan, he's our mascot. So many people were writing in asking why we were called Cub, we decided on the bear and told them to come to Cub Foods this Thursday to find out." Mandy explained that they were going to get a cage for the bear, but the bear itself cost so much, they had to wait a few...